An older woman dating younger men has, to a certain degree, been looked upon as reprehensible. Pick up any magazine, flip a page, and it’s a story if an older female celebrity just has acquired a new boy toy. Society however, loves to celebrate an older man in a relationship with a much younger woman. Blah, Blah, Blah, it’s the same old stereotypical cliché. Let’s take a look at living life as a so-called cougar, from a perspective of experience.

Dating and relationships, nowadays, require a certain level of creativity, thinking outside of the box. About ten years ago, I decided to let go of my prudish concept or what I was told a healthy dating life or relationship, should look like. At this point in the Single Mom’s game, I had to come to terms with the quality of time being spent, far outweighing, the amount of time spent. Once the blinders came off, I could clearly see, every man in my dating age demographic of 30-60 years old had a different agenda, as well as approach.

Laughter, said to be the best medicine, was the first endearing characteristic I found to be attractive in dating younger men. Every single one I’ve ever gone out with had the ability to make me giggle, at some point during the date. Maybe that’s just the baby-girl in me, okay, call it what you want. It’s a proven scientific fact; laughter releases endorphins, thus making you feel good.

Eagerness, the enthusiasm to please, going above and beyond to be well groomed, wanting and putting forth every effort, to gain your undivided attention. Whether you admit this or not, every woman desires a man who thinks she’s special, something like, being put up on a pedestal. I love the contagious energy, of dating a younger man. Yes, I’m a sucker for early morning sexting, compliments, candle lit dinners (cooked by him), motivating mood music, dancing in the living room, all of the above, defines exactly what a cougar enjoys.


Companionship, expressed with the intention of friendship, closeness and or, possibly a relationship. Younger men, pursue older women, for what they believe to be a more pleasurable, advanced, freaky, yet, consensual sexual experience, however, a cougar is not always a predator roaming the earth looking for her prey! I’ve had many intelligent conversations, with younger men who willingly admit, they choose to date women, 10 to 20 years their senior, specifically to enjoy her level of intelligence. The older woman-younger man relationship, has many variables, only the adventurous, and brave souls get to experience this dynamic union.

Most women prefer not to be categorized as a “Cougar”. I consider myself to be a single, intelligent woman, who knows what type of man she’s compatible with. Of course, every relationship has a down side, along with day to day challenges, why would this be any different?

I’m often reminded of those descriptive throwback 70’s song lyrics, by Bill Withers, “Use Me”: I want to spread the news, that if it feels this good getting used, Just keep on using me, till you use me up”

While society snaps its ugly teeth, at such a relationship, ultimately, “age ain’t nothing but a number” ~Dakota

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