Disclaimer: I am not male bashing… Okay, maybe I am. LOL!

Men are trash. Just to be clear, No! I’m not a woman scorned.

Nope, not at all…

When it comes to matters of the heart, both men and women tend to act a bit inappropriately and exaggerate the truth at times. Men more often than women. I’m sure somewhere there is scientific evidence to prove my point. Ha Ha!

I was listening to Mary J Blige’s My Life II: The Journey Continues, Act 1 album, track number 16 to be exact. The title of the song just happens to be Miss Me With That. “I heard them all, All them lies, lost count round and round a thousand times.” Dope album. I love Mary J! I digress, now where was I, after hearing the song I thought, I bet my girlfriends can relate to this jam. Shoot, I know the song resonated with me (there’s a few miss me with moments in my past). So, I grabbed my iPhone and sent out a text to some of my women friends asking them to share their dating horror stories with me. They were more than happy to oblige. Please note I will not share names to protect the foolish(men). The feedback was staggering. Men, you have to do better (Ha)…

Mr. I’m Single
Have you ever met a guy that Everything about him seems too perfect? He probably is. The vibe from the beginning between the two of you synchronous. But your women intuition, spider senses or whatever you call it starts to kick in; so you decide to do a little investigating. Snooping sounds so sneaky. You know, delve a little deeper than what appears on the surface. The first place you check is his Facebook page. At first glance, it looks like the page of a single man. Ya know. Only photos of mom, hanging out with the homies and photos of his child (no pictures of the child’s mother). Okay, so you continue to browse through the images and Wa La! There it is. Just as you thought. A picture of him out having a good time and to the unsuspecting eye it’s just that. A photo of him out having a good time with the homies. Hey, but we are talking about the trained eye of a woman. LOL! Is that a ring? Is that his left hand? And no, it’s not his class ring! He is not a professional athlete so; he hasn’t won any championships. It’s a wedding band! As always, spider senses were correct. Single… He is Not! Mr. Too Good To Be True, he is… Le sigh.

She’s Just A Friend
Is this scenario familiar? He said she’s just a friend (sing that 2x’s) She was there before you. She’s a friend of the family, his aunt’s goddaughter, the sister of his best friend, or maybe she is the best bud from college. The point is she isn’t “just a friend.” The relationship goes far beyond the realm of platonic. She is the”when I’m in between dating we occasionally have sex friend.” The scary part – she is okay with her role in his life. He is quick to deny anything is going on and his favorite line, she’s not “my type.” Don’t get me wrong men and women can just be friends. BUT If your intuition tells you otherwise… Keep your eye on him and her (Ha).

Mr. I Puts It Down In The Bedroom
Okay, ladies, I’m sure you can all relate to ” Mr. I Puts It Down In The Bedroom” You know the type, he has no idea of how to please a woman. He is totally clueless to the attention and particularity, it takes to bring a woman to climax.

Continue… So you’ve been dating “Mr. I Put It Down In The Bedroom” for a bit or maybe he’s the boo thang from the gym that you have been flirting with. Nevertheless, the night has arrived. You choose to let the panties fly and the good times roll. He’s been telling you how much he wants you. He is going to make your walls tremble and have you dripping like the waters of the Niagara Falls. Unfortunately, the complete opposite occurs. The experience is more like the scene from Waiting To Exhale when Savannah (Whitney Houston) sleeps with Lionel (Jeffrey Sams). If you remember the movie, you get my point. Epic Fail!

The Texter
We all know him, and if you don’t BEWARE. He is the brother who has no time for a real conversation. He is never available for face to face interaction. There is never an actual date, and he only seems to hold a conversation via the characters made available to him by his iPhone. Does he lack social skills? Usually, no, the most obvious reason is he’s just not that into you. Girl, before you waste a week, month or year of your time kick Mr. Texter to the curb. Never spend your treasured energy on a brother who doesn’t value getting to know you.

The Stalker aka Mr. Delusional
Hmm, does a stalker ever realize he’s a stalker? In their sick, twisted mind its a form of admiration. We all know stalking is serious and can end tragically. Thank goodness this wasn’t an actual case of stalking my girlfriend experienced. Maybe stalker is the wrong word to describe the brother. Perhaps a better word would be delusional, but hey stalkers are delusional. Here’s the scenario, you meet Mr. Delusional via a social networking site. At first you exchange a few messages, and finally, you give him your number. Going by his profile and the exchanges online the brother seems worthy of the digits. He calls, and the first few conversations go well. You may even like him, so you decide to meet him in person. The meeting goes well too; so you decide to go on a formal date. You know dinner, movie, theater, museum or bowling, etc. After, just one official date a few phone conversations he thinks he’s your man. Yikes! He begins to call, text and slide up in your DMs every day. This brother quite frankly, is becoming quite annoying, so you let him know. Hey, halt, stop, slow down, back the “F” up or better yet get a life. This misguided, delusional fool thinks his overly misguided attention is flattering. It may be time to change your number, delete your Facebook page, block him on Instagram and run. Okay, maybe that’s a bit much, but you get the point.

The next time he comes with the f*ck boy shenanigans grab the sage and in your best Mary J voice tell him to “Miss Me With That.”